The art (and skill) of the ask: refining donor communication
Ben, a program director at a large private foundation, looked across the conference table at Arlene, executive director of a nonprofit organization that served the homeless community. Ben’s foundation had given grant funds to Arlene’s nonprofit for several years. But the last time they had met was eight years ago. There had been a lull in communication since. And Ben knew it wasn’t because the nonprofit was getting all the support they needed. Many organizations in that community were struggling.
Ben asked Arlene, “Why haven’t you come to us in eight years?”
Arlene replied, “We didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“Well,” said Ben, “We didn’t think you needed us.”
Although the names have been changed, this lightly fictionalized conversation plays out in many forms in conference rooms across the country. It illustrates a common pitfall in the donor/grantee relationship: failure to communicate.
How are donors going to know that you need them unless you tell them?
Communication, communication, communication
Remember that old saw about the three most important things in real estate? Location, location, location! Well, the three most important components of running a nonprofit are communication, communication, and communication. It's just as important as operating programs, creating revenue streams, and supporting staff. Effective communication is vital to building trust with donors, funders, and the community – and it’s a fatal error to overlook it.Among the worst mistakes that nonprofit leaders make is assuming what your community knows about your organization’s work – or that it even knows you exist. Communication is an essential part of taking a nonprofit’s mission out into the world. Without employing the most compelling messages and using the appropriate channels at the right time, your work is virtually invisible.
Have you ever heard yourself saying this (or heard it from a colleague)? “We do such good work. People ought to support us.” However, the people who may be your natural supporters may not even know you’re out there.
The unfortunate truth is that good work isn’t necessarily recognized. Your work with housing homeless populations, supporting low-income youth, alleviating food security, and so forth may fade into the background if things are going well. It’s only when there’s a crisis that people notice you.
Do you really want the drama of an “incident” to be the reason that the community starts paying attention to your nonprofit?
Get ahead of this situation now. Take a close look at established communication channels with donors and potential donors, and think about whether they are working for your organization.
Building communication skills
Did you know that adding a donor to your email distribution list is one of the worst things you can do to cultivate the relationship?
Or that picking up the phone and calling a funder is one of the most effective moves you can make to build trust – even if you’re not asking them for money?
In these uncertain times for nonprofits, building skills to ask for support for your mission and programs is more important than ever.
Here are some things to keep in mind when crafting an effective communication strategy.
Listening vs. assuming
It can’t be stressed enough: the only way to learn where your donors are is to listen to them.
Whether you’re in a conversation with a longtime funder or with a potential new funder, get into the habit of listening closely. Be careful not to assume. Often, people make assumptions because they are afraid of appearing uninformed, or they think that they know something that they don’t. In the two examples cited above, the nonprofit leader assumed that the donor knew that they existed and that they needed support. Meanwhile, the donor was making their own assumptions. And neither of these assumptions was working to the benefit of the organization.
Assumption-making is the bane of curiosity. When in conversation with a donor, you may think that you’re asking for support when in reality you’re beating around the bush, walking carefully around the key question without ever asking it. This may be the reason that these conversations yield lackluster results.
Rephrasing is an effective tool in situations where you want to be certain that you’re getting the message. Saying something like: “so what I heard is…..” gives the other person the opportunity to clarify. It also shows that you’re an active participant in the dialogue rather than a passive recipient, and this is key to building trust. Once you’re clear about where the donor stands, identifying the next steps becomes easier.
2. Feel the fear – and do it anyway
Many nonprofit leaders say that they are hesitant to reach out to foundations. And several large foundations report that they have not seen an uptick in calls from nonprofits, contrary to their expectations about how those organizations would proceed in the face of increased concerns about funding.
Read that last paragraph again. Nonprofits are NOT reaching out to funders to express their concerns about the changes in the funding landscape. Let’s dig a little deeper to understand what’s going on.
Why aren’t nonprofits reaching out more? Some leaders report that they are uncertain about what to say, and are concerned about communicating the right information. Both reasons are understandable. This is new territory in many respects. The grant application process is the typical framework for communications between nonprofits and funders, and most conversations between the two take place within this framework.
However, discussions about support don’t have to take place exclusively in this context.
Funders are interested in knowing how nonprofits are holding up and what their concerns are, and conversations about those issues are bound to lead to greater trust – which in turn leads to increased likelihood of funding down the road.
The upshot is that it’s natural to be fearful in the face of uncertainty. But don’t let that stop you from reaching out. Many nonprofit leaders say that they are hesitant to reach out to foundations, or that they are unsure about the best ways to reach out to stakeholders. What lies beneath many of these concerns is the fear of being vulnerable. As a leader, you may feel that you need to have all the answers. But in the chaos and uncertainty swirling around the nonprofit sector right now, this can be a major liability. On the other hand, open communication – as much as it can increase your feelings of vulnerability – also increases trust. An honest conversation between an executive director and a foundation program director can set the stage for a collaborative partnership that reaches years into the future.
3. Be transparent.
Being honest about your concerns and challenges is paramount in maintaining a good relationship with funders. They don’t expect you to have all the answers. Having all the answers isn’t necessary or even reasonable. But being willing to talk about the issues is. As a nonprofit leader, you don’t need to have all the answers, but you need to be willing to talk about what you’re up against.
4. Keep lines of communication open.
Stay in touch with funders to let them know how you’re doing and that you’re still focused on your organization’s mission. Again, you don’t need to reach out for funding in order to make sure you’re staying on their radar.
5. Be clear and direct when asking for help.
A local public radio station had a recent fund drive where they told listeners, “these are uncertain times and we're not sure about what's happening, but we do know we provide value and we need your support." As a result, the station had one of its most successful fund drives ever. People appreciate clarity and transparency. Leading with these values is an important way to build trust and encourage long-term commitment from donors.
By contrast, framing a request in a passive way may mean that your ask is misinterpreted – or missed entirely. Make sure that you are talking about your needs in a concrete and realistic manner rather than in abstractions.
6. Do your homework (i.e don’t assume that funders have tons of money to give away).
It’s important to recognize that many funders have been as hard hit by the economy as nonprofits, although in different ways and with widely divergent impacts. Changes in tax laws, hits to specific industries by tariffs and changes in the political climate, a new 1% floor on charitable giving for corporations to qualify for tax deductions, and other factors may affect donations. The bottom line is that the bottom line is in flux for large corporations and foundations.
The bourbon industry is one example of a struggling industry that affects local nonprofits. Kentucky organizations that receive support from companies in this niche will likely get better results if they explore ways to partner with these businesses other than monetary donations. If you have a relationship with a funder whose industry is taking a hit, be aware of the pressures that they are facing and modify your approach accordingly.
7. Forge partnerships.
Several organizations that serve the immigrant and refugee community joined forces to approach a large foundation. As a group, they showcased the issues that were having a profound impact on their communities. The foundation leaders were impressed with the way that these organizations found strength in numbers, and the meeting sparked a dialogue that helped to forge a stronger connection – and the possibility of long-term support.
8. Pick up the phone.
Calling a funder is a far more personal approach than sending an email. A phone conversation allows for an intimate dialogue about the issues that both funders and nonprofits are facing, and can lead to a constructive problem solving process and help to build trust. As a program officer at a regional foundation shared, “we may not have the money, but we have the time.” Take the time to reach out. The bottom line: if you’re receiving funding from a foundation, keep in touch with them.
9. Steer clear of email, and get up close and personal.
Avoid adding donors to your email distribution list. Program directors – like most of the rest of us – have overflowing inboxes, and it’s likely that your emails are likely to fall into the abyss and go unread. Phone calls are a far more effective and intimate way to build relationships and keep the lines of communication open. Face to face communications are even better. These kinds of interactions, which waned considerably during the COVID-19 pandemic, are essential to human connection. They’re also vital in the donor/nonprofit relationship. These direct conversations can be held on a donor’s turf, at a workplace or at their home. Talking to a donor about the challenges faced by your nonprofit, asking for their advice and counsel, and engaging them in finding potential solutions is a powerful way to build relationships.
10. Strengthen connections with individual donors.
In 2024, individual giving accounted for the largest increase in giving in the philanthropic sector. Of the $593 billion contributed to the nonprofit sector, a full $392 billion – or two thirds – was donated by individuals. Broadening and deepening your donor base has never been more important. Use personal touches to strengthen these relationships. Sending a handwritten note, writing something on the donation sheet, and meeting with a donor in their home are all ways to build human connections with donors.
Staying connected
It can’t be said often enough. For nonprofits trying to stay afloat in the challenging environment of 2025, the key tenets of nurturing donor relationships should be kept top of mind.
Communicate often, communicate consistently, and communicate regularly. Invite funders into conversations that build connection, trust, and collaborative problem solving.
This process often comes with risks and discomfort. Embrace those and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Clear communication about the challenges your organization is going through demonstrates the strength of your leadership, because it shows that you’re doing what it takes to adapt – and adaptation is a sign of strength. It’s also an indication that your organization will be around for the long haul, and therefore worth a funder’s investment.
The process of relationship building through effective communication is an investment in the future, both for nonprofit leaders and funders. Today’s honest conversation is highly likely to lead to increased support for your organization’s needs, and perhaps sooner than you think. Get those discussions started and look forward to the rewards of stronger relationships with funding partners.
Nervous about funding sustainability in the new grantseeking landscape? The Grant Muse will work with you to develop funding assets outside the conventional grant application — such as corporate solicitation training for your board.
The Grant Muse is your strategic grantseeking and funding partner!
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